Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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