Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
operation harelip BJ is a go
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
