Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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