If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Randomize
