I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
