grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
