I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
