He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
This is my life. Enjoy the view
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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