so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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