Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
