I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize