i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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