I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
