It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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