you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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