a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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