i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize