I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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