So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
