i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
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