Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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