We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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