Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
