Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
