why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
