She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
