Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
My bed smells like the plague
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
