why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize