bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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