my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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