weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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