your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
