were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
