proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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