I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize