So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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