he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
