I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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