I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
