There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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