need another drink. this is the easiest way
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
