Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
