I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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