i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
