you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
