I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I will pee on everything he values.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize