I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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