i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize