tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
