i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize