I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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