This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Randomize
