Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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