maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Everyone says I win the strip club
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize