it wasn't lemon gatorade
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
