Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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