so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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