It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm at about main and main street
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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