I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize