I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
