It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize