Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
