i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
