It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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