therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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