too bad you live with your parents still
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
