I heard we made out
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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