Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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