We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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