You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
