Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You pole danced in your parka.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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