I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
