Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
