If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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