the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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